Monday, February 25, 2008

Friday, February 22, 2008

What's in a name??

Isn't the Blame game terrible and isn't retaliation something really bad? This next story illustrates these points well.

Jet Li walked into a pub in New York with his pal. He says to his pal: "Hey! That's Steven Spielberg over there! Boy, How I wish he'll come over to say "hi".
Spielberg suddenly walked over but without notice he just gave Jet Li a punch on the nose.

Li: "Hey!! What's that for?!"
Spielberg: "You bloody Japanese killed my granddad when you bombed Pearl Harbour!"
Li : "But I'm not Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Spielberg : "Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, who cares? You're all the same!"

Spielberg walks back to the other side. After a while, Jet Li calmly walks over to Spielberg and suddenly gives him a really heavy punch on the face.
Spielberg : "Hey! What's that for..... !?!"
Li : "YOU STUPID IDIOTS SANK THE TITANIC!"
Spielberg : "but how can you say that? It was an iceberg that sank the Titanic!"
Li : "Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, what's the difference? You're all the same!"

Monday, February 11, 2008

A really great laugh

The Titannic was sinking. There were not enough life-boats. The captain announced that the life-boats will be kept for the women and children. So he shouted to the men to jump into the icy waters to make room for them. He turned to the Englishmen first and said, "You Englishmen are gentlemen" and beckoned. The English jumped without hesitation

He turned to the Americans and said, "You Americans are heroes" and beckoned. The Americans quickly jumped. Then the Captain turned to the Germans and pointedly said, "For you Germans, it is the rule." The Germans obliged and jumped. Then he turned to the Japanese bowed and said, "It is the consensus of all of you" and the Japanese jumped without hesitation.

Then, he turned to the Singaporeans. He persuaded them to jump but they won't move. He tried all kinds of methods but none worked. Finally, he said, there will be free life jackets given for those who will jump. That was when all the Singaporeans jumped because "free gifts" are a way of life for them.

HOW DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO SITUATIONS IS VERY INTERESTING, ISN'T IT?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

THE ART OF TELLING FUNNY JOKES

Story telling can be developed into an art
Telling funny stories is a gift. However if it stays as a mere gift, it will remain just that – having the ability to tell good stories. However if this gift is developed, it can become an art form where every delivery of a message or a speech becomes funny and extraordinary.

People involved in building & connecting with people need to tell stories
Almost everyone who develops this capability will end up as a good platform speaker. Lecturers, teachers, motivational speakers, Managers, Company owners, Trainers, Consultants and Moderators should all be good story tellers if they want to excel in their vocation.

The ability to link stories effectively
Great speakers who use stories well will need to do the following things when they incorporate stories into their speeches:
-- Personalize the story (where possible)
-- Postulate the story line into the lesson to be stressed
-- Project the key attributes of what makes the story interesting
-- Position the story appropriately into the sppech

Stories should be seamlessly integrated into speeches
The whole idea is to integrate it as part of the speech. It is critically a process by which the story is seamlessly integrated into the whole approach of the speech
This ability to relate is what makes a good speaker great.


It is all about perception and practice
This unique ability to tag the humor comes from perception and practice. It must be worked at and repeated again and again until conversance is established. Essentially it is bringing out the “KEY WORDS” and applying it correctly.

It is all about relating well and knowing how to use them
You don’t start trying to fit in stories into your speeches or lectures or teaching materials. You must know how to relate the story to what is being conveyed. It is more an early process of tagging stories for use. It involves planning the use of stories and seeing what they can be used to illustrate.

Stories for fitting…..
Let us go straight into trying to fit stories for use.


STORY 1: NEW BUSINESSMAN STARTING OFFICE
A new Malaysian businessman had started up his new office. When he heard someone coming through his outer office, he quickly picked up the telephone and started speaking into it as if he was speaking with a client. As the man came through his door, the Businessman beckoned him to sit down.

Then he went in to the pretended telephone conversation and continued.

“We are experts and specialists in this trade. Just last week, we made $60,000 for one of our clients. The week before we hit a golden streak and another of our clients came away $80,000 richer! We know the business so well and we have people who are on the ground monitoring the progress.

Then after a while of repeated impressive testimonials spoken into the phone, the new Businessman turned to the man sitting there and said, “Now Sir, what can I do for you? Can I work for you some of your Investments – you heard about how good we are over the phone.”

The man sitting across from him was amused. He said, “Sir, I am from the Telecommunications company. Your telephone is not connected yet and I am here to do the connection!”

HOW WOULD YOU USE THIS STORY?
OK, now you have a story that can be told. What would you use the story to illustrate? Can you think of something that can be linked to a speech that is waiting to be made??


STORIES ARE POWERFUL WHEN LINKED WELL!
The key is knowing how to link it. I was giving a speech to Architects, Housing Developers, Engineers and Builders. Many of them had opinions about how the Construction Industry should be moving forward. In my preparation, I had decided that I want to use something that would illustrate why too many varied opinions would make things difficult for the projects that were being undertaken. So I told the following story:

STORY 2: GRANDFATHER AND GRANDSON
A Farmer and his grandson were going to the market with their donkey to sell their produce. After having a successful morning of selling their produce, the Grandfather, grandson and their donkey started on their way home. It was a long journey covering many many miles.

The Grandfather rode on the donkey as the Grandson walked by the side. At that part of the journey, the first person they met looked at them and said, “Old man, how can you be so cruel – letting your poor Grandson walk while you comfortably ride on the donkey?”

So they listened and the Grandfather put his grandson to ride on the donkey. After a while, they met another traveler and he turned to them & spoke,”Young man, how can you ride the donkey while your poor Grandfather struggles to keep up?”

This time they also decided to listen. So both got up to ride the donkey. As both of them were enjoying the ride, they came across a third traveler who looked at them and said,”Shame on both of you. How can both of you ride on the poor donkey and cause him so much suffering.

After the traveler had gone, the Grandfather and his grandson decided to respond to this latest comment. After some time a fourth traveler cme across this very funny sight. He saw the Grandfather and his grandson carrying the donkey.

Isn’t this so true. When we listen to others too often, we can end up like the story “carrying the donkey!”

Saturday, January 5, 2008

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE....


WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, IT HAPPENS
Yesterday, I took the whole out to the latest Japanese restaurant. It is a quaint place located at the new Mall opposite the old Jaya Supermarket. It is a Shabu-Shabu place. I was enjoying the meal so much. Then it happened!

A LOOSE PIECE OF FALSIES.....
I bit on a piece of beef and pulled. To my horror, my false teeth came out and 'plonked' on the table. I tried to cover it with a napkin but it was too late. "Yuks" my grandson hollered. "How disgusting. Grandpa's false teeth has come out!"

LAUGHTER ALL AROUND.....AT MY EXPENSE
Everyone had a good time laughing except me of course! But I have learnt to look at the bright side of things. I once almost defeated the National Table-tennis champion of Malaysia with my false teeth. I represented my state Sabah in 1983 where the national Table-tennis competition was played in a town called Seremban.

FALSE TEETH COMES OUT IN TABLE-TENNIS GAMES TOO.....
There I was badly trailing the National Champion of Malaysia when it happened! Just as I jumped to smash the ball, I grunted and to my horrors (just like how it happened in the Japanese Restaurant), my false teeth flew 10 feet across to the playing side of my opponent. Suddenly a boy in the audience shouted (just like my Grandson did), "Hey! he lost his false teeth!"

WHAT A WAY TO WIN - THROUGH LAUGHTER
The whole stadium erupted in laughter. My opponent almost rolled on the floor in laughter. Every time he stood opposite me to receive my serves, he would double up in laughter. He lost the next 10 consecutive points and I won the first set.

FRIENDSHIP THROUGH GREAT LAUGHTER
It was a good thing he recovered his composure in the next 2 sets or I could have been the Malaysian Table-tennis champion for 1983. Today, he is still a great friend of mine. Every time we meet, he would regale with laughter over my false teeth. See - laughter really breaks down huge barriers.

Come laugh with me!!